Replacing “Hurry” with “Inner Calm & Ease”

Replacing “Hurry” with “Inner Calm & Ease”

by | Apr 26, 2023 | Avoiding Stress, Health & Wellbeing, Self-Care

I’ve been intentionally offering myself more kindness and listening for my Inner Guidance more. One of the things that happens when I do that is I become aware of habits and patterns that don’t serve me well.

It’s like the Universe says, “Hey, sweetheart… here’s a habit of yours. Do you want to keep it around?”

Here’s one I found that I’m willing to release/transform: I have lived much of my adult life in a consistent state of low-grade hurry – even when I don’t need to be going quickly. Whoa…

I like to be on time when I show up anywhere. Actually, I like to be earlier than “on time.” But it’s been a habit for me to leave for my next thing and/or prepare for my next thing with just the right amount of time to be barely on time.

The problem is that inside my body “barely on time” feels like “almost late” to me. So, while I’m rarely actually late, I still feel hurried/rushed much of the time when I’m going from one thing to another. 

My new experiment, then, is to calculate what time I would normally leave (you know, to be barely on time 😊)… and then add 10 minutes to that. 
BIG happy difference! I highly recommend it.

Here’s more pieces I noticed. 

I took a break in the middle of writing this to go get stuff for lunch, prepare it, and eat. Here’s was I found in that short space of time:

1. I “hurried” off to the store. I could feel it as I was getting ready to go – low-scale hurrying. Which was odd because I wasn’t late for anything!

2. In the kitchen I turned on the water as I was rinsing off a ladle. As I turned to do something else, I kept the water running. I felt myself “hurry” because I was “wasting water.” Uh…? I could have just shut off the water between rinsing.

3. I opened the fridge to get something out and just then Nik (my son) said, “Hey, mom?” I went around the corner to see what he wanted – feeling the need to “hurry” to get back to shut the door.  Oh my goodness… I could have just closed the refrigerator door while I talked to him and opened it again when we were done. Weird.

4. But this one is the weirdest! My computer had been unplugged for a while. As I was writing I kept noticing the battery symbol showing less and less charge. I could feel my insides be all tight like I better “hurry.” Ready for this? The cord was on the table right beside me! I could have just plugged it in the first time I noticed the low charge.

Now I know these are just little, dorky things but, wow… it shows my habit of being so often in “hurry mode” even when I don’t need to be. That’s the brain baseline that we’ve talked about!!

I am lovingly allowing myself to shift this baseline. If any of this resonates with you, here is your Self-Love Provocation. I will be doing it with you. 

Check in with your body several times a day – while driving, eating, working, talking, relaxing. How are your insides feeling? 

No matter what you find, put these beautiful steps into practice:

1. First, imagine you could fill your insides with a feeling of “Calm & Ease.” 
On an inhale… draw the feeling of “Calm & Ease” into your beautiful body.
On an exhale… imagine the feeling of “Calm & Ease” softening all around you.

Inhale… “Calm & Ease” in.
Exhale… “Calm & Ease” out around you.

Do three rounds.

2. Second, say softly several times: 
“I am willing to release all “hurry” and trust the process of life.”
“I am willing to release all “hurry” and trust the process of life.”
“I am willing to release all “hurry” and trust the process of life.”

You don’t have to try to make anything happen. Just do the two steps several times this week/month and see what happens. Here’s to the feeling of “hurry” giving way to inner “Calm & Ease.” Ahhh…..
How To Let Go So You Can Have What You Really Want

How To Let Go So You Can Have What You Really Want

by | Mar 28, 2023 | Positive Thinking, Self-Care, Self-Improvement

I remember the day I let go of my dream. I cried really hard. I had been feeling so drained – mentally, emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. I was exhausted from the whole long stressful divorce process, as well as from trying to be a single mom when time and finances were really tight.

But mostly, I felt tired to the core of my being from having something weighing on me – for decades – that I always said I wanted to do… but never did… and still kept prodding myself to do… and continually “angsted” about it because it was something I knew I “should” be doing… but just wouldn’t move forward with it… and so, felt continually disappointed with myself, and sad, and drained because of it all.

Yuk.

My “thing” was about going out on my own as an author and speaker. What’s yours? What’s a thing that weighs on you that you keep not doing?

In a state of me continuously prodding myself to “do it” but feeling tired, sad, and disappointed because I still wasn’t “doing it” – my mom, seeing my sadness and stress said, “Sweetheart, can you just let it go… and let your life already be enough?”

Damn, what a question! I felt a huge wave of sadness (and some fear), like I was about to lose a consistent companion. But I also felt an even bigger (and totally unexpected) wave of relief like, “Oh my god, could it really be okay to let all of the angsting about this go? Could I just let it go?”

I did let it go. It was amazing. And bizarre. The voice that for years had been saying, “Hurry, go get it done! Come on, you need to do it! You’re supposed to do more and be more!” didn’t have a job anymore. Within a short time, the prodding and self-criticism and the angsting about it stopped.

And I could breathe… I know now that it was my caterpillar-to-butterfly cocoon stage, and the Universe was able to do its magic while I was resting emotionally.

After a few years of that respite, my huge happy desire (to do my author/speaker work) came washing back through me! I’ve since been moving forward with more joy, clarity, intention, and empowerment than I ever have before. I own a small business, Programs That Uplift; I have one book completed; I’m working on my second; and I am writing, speaking, training, and coaching as my full-time work.

It was in my letting go that I was able to feel my heart’s desire about what I truly wanted. If it had not been in line with my soul’s highest good, the juicy impulse would not have come back in happy resonance with my heart. The same will be true for you!

What have you been putting off that has been weighing on you? Losing weight? Starting your business? Writing your book? Letting go of a relationship that’s not working? Submitting a poem? Creating a piece of art? Finding a more satisfying job? Starting your blog or YouTube channel? Taking the trip?

Here’s your provocation. I am asking you to let it go. Don’t freak out. Breathe. You have “permission” to let it go and literally stop worrying about it. You don’t ever have to pick it up again. But you can if and when you want to.

But wait… wait until you feel the gift of respite first. Wait until you can feel if it is truly what you want!

Let it go. Kindly… respectfully… perhaps with honor, or sadness, or even reverence. But let it go. And then breathe. Let it go completely for a day… or week… or month(s)… or years. Or let it go forever if it is not something you really want. I promise that if it is something beneficial and beautiful for you… you can’t harm or silence the impulse by letting it go. But you can rest the impulse so that it grows and becomes stronger, clearer, more focused, and more inspiring again.

Let yourself rest… until it is time. And when it is time – then soar. Go beyond what you have been doing. But do it while listening to the Universe as it will guide you, and do it while choosing to love yourself through the whole process.

If you’d like some more practice with loving yourself, please join me April 4th at 7pm EST for my online program “Self-Love as Spiritual Practice.” It’s free and open to anyone: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/self-love-as-spiritual-practice-tickets-494628094947

Go At A Pace That Makes You Feel Good

Go At A Pace That Makes You Feel Good

by | Feb 27, 2023 | Positive Thinking, Self-Care, Self-Improvement

More than thirty-five years ago when I first read Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life, I remember the feeling that washed over me when I read her guidance, “wear clothes that make you feel good; eat foods that make you feel good; be around people who make you feel good; go at a pace that makes you feel good.”

Whoa… “Go at a pace that makes you feel good.” Isn’t that a beautiful idea? That’s your provocation for the month! Mine too.

At the end of December, I left my job to run my speaking, training, coaching business (Programs That Uplift) full-time 😊. Then, after the Universe had been giving Chris (my significant other), consistent but gentle nudges… then bigger and louder “pushes,” he left his job of 22 years (right before the company “did away with” the rest of the entire mental health case management arm of the company!).

We both feel really grateful for the gifts we received from our previous jobs, but even more so for the gift of our new paths! And both of us have been talking about how happy we are to be able set our own time for doing things. Ahhh… the gift of time affluence!

But…

Instead of feeling rich with time, we have both become wildly aware of our habit of “hurrying.” Even when we don’t need to!

So, we made a little pact to remind each other throughout the day that we’re allowed to relax and go at a pace that makes us feel good. And my big aha has been that whether we have a job, or a family, or business obligations, or any of the other zillion things we all have to do… it’s a myth to think, “When such and such is done (my job, raising my children, caring for aging parents, completing a business project, etc.) THEN I can go at a pace that makes me feel good.” 

It’s a myth because 1. We don’t have to wait until something is completed in order to CHOOSE to go at a pace that makes us feel good. And 2. Often even when we DO complete something or DO have extra time, we still don’t choose to go at a pace that makes us feel good. (Wouldn’t it be great if no one could relate to this?)

Want to shift that? What are you doing today? Decide right now – even just for the next few minutes – to go at a pace that makes you feel good. For me, that usually means to slow down and take a breath. How about for you?

Hurrying never makes me go faster anyway. It just tightens me up and causes me to make mistakes and fogs my thinking and makes my actions less graceful, less effective, less creative, and less satisfying. And mostly… hurrying takes me out of alignment with my powerful, loving, wise Universal/spiritual connection.

So, your self-love practice this month is to go at a pace that makes you feel good even if you’re sure you don’t have enough time to do that. I’ll be joining you. And little by little we can shift our habits into actions that are powerfully healing, loving, and kind to us. (That’s when we can more easily spread our good out into the world anyway. I love how the Universe works like that!)

If you’d like some more practice with being kind to you, join me March 7th at 7pm EST for my online program “Self-Love as Spiritual Practice.” It’s free and open to anyone: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/self-love-as-spiritual-practice-tickets-494627422937

How Food Feels

How Food Feels

by | May 7, 2019 | Health & Wellbeing, Self-Care, Self-Improvement

There are so many foods we are supposed to stay away from, or at least limit, according to experts in the industry. Depending on which dietitian, nutritionist, physician, book, or PBS special you are currently in alignment with, here are some of the possible things to steer clear from: fats, red meat, all meat, carbs, anything not organic, anything not locally grown, all processed foods, MSG, hydrogenated oils, dairy, salty snacks, sugary snacks, alcohol, corn syrup, any grain that is not a whole grain, white anything (flour, rice, bread, sugar, pasta), preservatives and on and on. But I have an idea.

While there is a good possibility that many of the different eating guidelines have merit, before you pick which foods to embrace and which to throw away, do something really awesome. Instead of basing your decision on logical arguments from all the external authorities, decide first how foods feel—to you. Here’s your provocation. This week intend to be fully present and mindful of you and your food before, during, and after you eat. How does your food look? Does your whole body want it or simply your taste buds? How does it smell? Is your body asking for something different instead? Can you really taste the food or are you rushing through it? Then, and this is the important part—10 to 20 minutes after you have eaten, simply notice how you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally. Are you sluggish or energized? Do you have any aches? Are you mentally clear or foggy? Do you feel “deadened” and numb or frisky and alive? Don’t make it a judgmental, criticism thing, just notice how you are doing. You may uncover something that can be really helpful.

 

Here is what I’ve found. Generally food serves me well, unless I use it for stress-reduction or relief, then not so much. Sometimes I eat sugary food because I consciously choose to have a bit of the yummy taste. Other times I crave it and it feels not so much a conscious choice, but rather like I “need” it. Most often those times are: when I feel sleepy or drained around 3-4pm with an afternoon lull; when I feel nervous, anxious, mad, or even excited about something; when I am tired from not getting enough quality sleep; when I am low on water but don’t realize I am thirsty. When I eat something sweet at those times, it tastes good on my tongue as I eat it. It also feels like it brings me some sort of relief. Then shortly afterward I usually feel more tired, drained, sluggish, and sometimes even mean. No fun really, but it is actually cool to know—because that awareness creates my point of power to be able to choose differently if and when I want to.

 

Our bodies rock! Your body rocks! Notice it this week. You have the opportunity to take lavish, loving care of it. Not because you “should.” Not because you need to “guilt yourself” into it. But quite simply, because you deserve to feel good. Whether or not anyone ever told you that, it’s true. You deserve to feel good. And noticing how foods feel from inside you is an amazing and powerful way to put that knowing into practice.