Have you ever felt big, fat, happy, juicy love for someone? Maybe your child, or your spouse, or an awesome furry four-legger. Have you ever been proud of and happy for them when something went well? How about compassionate or kind or strong for them when they were hurting? To hold other people in our hearts as precious and worthy and lovable, and to see them as inherently good (even when they mess up), is a gift that we often bestow on others. Feel the beauty and the positive power in that. Love heals. It assists people in reaching toward their highest potential.
We already know that. It’s why we cringe and feel sad or indignant or mad when we hear stories about parents or teachers or coaches telling someone we love that they’re worthless or unlovable or they’ll never be good enough… Yuk.
What if we turned some of that love and power and kindness back upon ourselves? What if we included ourselves in our circle of love and care? Self-love isn’t selfish. As a matter of fact, it’s the only thing that is powerful enough to help us reach toward living the highest version of ourselves. So, contrary to popular belief, here’s what’s actually selfish: hanging onto our brain’s negativity bias, and the role modeling we saw of others’ constant self-criticism, and the memory of old messages that said we’re not worthy or lovable or good enough. That’s the selfish – albeit unconscious – habit.
Here’s why it’s selfish to hang onto the habit of constant self-criticism and incessant “I’m not good enough” and “I’m not doing it right enough” self-talk. Because the extent to which we continue our habit of self-criticism over the choice to practice self-love, is the extent to which we continue to settle in life. That’s when we settle for a life of “meh,” a life of littleness, a life of status quo not living up to the expansive, joyful version of ourselves that our soul and the Universe are calling us toward. And the extent to which we do begin practicing self-love, is the extent to which we begin stepping into the joyful magnificence of living our highest and best.
That’s why self-love is your most important job right now. People desperately need you to love yourself enough to live your higher purpose. Because that gives them permission to do it too. It helps lift their vibration high enough so they can believe – even for a moment – that they can do it too. They need your spark of living joyfully to shake them out of their spell that says, “This is as good as it gets.”
Here’s what happens when you practice self-love: You’ll go at a pace that makes you feel good. You’ll eat foods that nourish your body. You’ll stop doing for others what serves them better to do themselves (even if they’d “rather not, thank you very much”). You’ll move toward activities that bring you more joy. You’ll start living in alignment with what brings you meaning and purpose. You’ll rest when you’re tired. You’ll create a combination of money and time that allows you to live with ease. You’ll listen for and honor your inner/spiritual messages. You’ll find a way to heal things that are hurting you. You’ll step away from depleting relationships. You’ll forgive yourself for not being perfect. You’ll start to tell yourself the truth that you’re already enough and that you’re already doing it right. You’ll be softer and gentler on yourself when you need respite and relief. You’ll be mama bear, stubbornly, powerfully, calmly demanding positive action when it’s time for that. You’ll give yourself compassion when you’re hurting, and you’ll celebrate yourself when you’re kicking butt.
These are the things of self-love. And these are the things that will fill you up so much that you can be your best self not only for yourself, but for everyone you interact with.
So, this month your provocation is to look for simple ways to be kinder to yourself. Loving you can become a playful, powerful, natural habit for good.