My mom says I popped out joyful! She battled alcoholism and chronic relapses for years, but because she always worked to be sober (which she has now been 10+ years 😊), she went to a lot of counselors, and she also took my 3 older sisters and I with her to countless Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. I loved the positive community and the spiritual connection I felt when there. Between those AA meetings and listening to mom share about things she learned in therapy, I became a great lover of inner healing work!
So, the Universe drew more of those things into my experience…
In 3rd grade, I got to be in a school “support group” that I loved! I figured I was included because someone “found out” my mom was an alcoholic, but at the end of the group one of the counselors said I was picked because I seemed happy in my own skin and helped others feel at ease.
Living near Ohio State University, researchers sometimes came to elementary schools and used students as study participants. (How cool is that!) In one study, our whole class was instructed to write the letters “I-A-L-A-C” on pieces of thick construction paper, then we tied on pieces of yarn and wore these “IALAC signs” around our necks. IALAC stood for “I am lovable and capable” and we learned that the words we use toward ourselves and others could either be “cold pricklies” tearing us down, or “warm fuzzies” lifting us up. 😊
Later, my mom introduced me to Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life. I totally fell in love with Louise and her teachings, along with Dr. Wayne Dyer’s work as well. Louise taught all about affirmations and self-love, and Wayne focused on spiritual growth and manifesting a life you love!
These things resonated with me perfectly as I pursued psychology as an undergrad, and later went for a counseling degree. Then I was blessed to find a Ph.D. program at Ohio State called Somatic Education, which focused on the mind-body-spirit connection. (If interested, Positive Psychology is a prominent field of study now, and it’s a way more direct route to this “stuff.”)
As I was nearing graduation and planning to go out into the world to teach self-love and personal/spiritual growth, the 9/11 terrorist attacks happened in 2001 and changed my path for a while. Ugh, here’s what happened…
At a weekly yoga class during the time of the attacks, the instructor always asked if anyone wanted to put anything into the center of our circle – with the intention to heal, love, or uplift.
After the terrorist attacks I could feel a powerful awareness that if everyone, everywhere, was able to truly love themselves, feel the preciousness of their own being, and listen to their own inner guidance – then tragedies like big acts of violence, and harm, and hurtfulness – couldn’t happen like that. So, at the end of a class just a few weeks after the attacks I said, “Let’s all of us put love and light around Osama Bin Laden” (who was, of course, the head ‘bad guy) “so that maybe we can help him uplift his vibration to love and light.”
O…M…G…!
I have never before or since then been SO embarrassed and uncomfortable and felt shame like that, just wanting desperately to hide under a rock… from the anger and gigantic disapproval and hostility that I got back from everyone in the yoga class. Yuk… it really was an awful experience for me.
And so, I went out into the world and presented something way less risky: stress reduction. Research-based so no one could “make fun of me” or “argue about its validity” or “disapprove of me.” (Or at least I didn’t take it quite so personally when they did 😊)
But have you noticed that the Universe will only let you “play it safe” for so long?
Over the past few years as I’ve written more consistently, worked with a Mastermind group, used talented coaches and mentors, and worked more on my own self-love, my inner guidance has gotten stronger and clearer. Here’s what I now know: It’s not my job to get everyone’s approval. Instead, it IS my job and my time to do what I’m supposed to do on the planet.
So after 14 years, I’m leaving my “regular” job on December 30th, to expand my author, speaker, trainer, coaching business, because I know that my divinely appointed “job” – my gift – is empowering people to love themselves and live their higher purpose.
And part of that was letting you hear my story. So thank you!
Here’s your provocation as we move into a new year: Ask yourself any or all of the following questions:
“What is the Universe calling you to do?
“What are you on the planet to do – really?”
“What brings you joy?”
“What are your true gifts that you are being called to use?”
For right now, the sheer act of asking those beautiful (terrifying 😊) uplifting questions is enough. Just ask and breathe.
Merry Christmas and the Happiest of Holidays to you and your loved ones!
(We’re all being called higher – can you feel it?)