I love the whole giving thing! It’s so important in so many ways. Being a “giving” person is such a kind and loving thing to do for others, and it also does wonders to raise our own happiness and well-being! Cool, huh? Excuse the gigantic generalization here, but if you take the time to read the things I write, and resonate with them a bit, I’m going to assume there’s a good chance you have the “giving” energy down pretty well. And so this week I ask you, “When is the last time you were a graceful receiver?”

I remember something beautiful and important that happened shortly before the pandemic was in full force (and thus, when sharing food wasn’t a risky thing :). I was driving home from work and had stopped at Publix (a local grocery store) to get some stuff to make soup. I had been craving homemade soup, but the boys weren’t home to make it and I had been on the “busyness” wheel and hadn’t made time to do it either. I was later than usual from work, and was already hungry. I remember having that, “I’m tired and over it” kind of feeling but was going to “push on” because delicious homemade soup sounded SO right for the moment!

As I pulled into the parking lot I got a call from a friend of ours. After we talked for a few minutes she said, “Hey, it’s late already and I made soup for our dinner tonight anyway. Just stop by and I’ll give you a container of it so you don’t have to make it tonight.” I started to do the, “Oh no, that’s okay. That’s not why I told you I was heading into the store” thing. But then I stopped… and let myself feel the deliciousness of letting someone be the giver. I let myself feel the beautiful (though sometimes awkward) feeling of being the receiver… of just saying yes to being loved and supported.

Because that’s what happens when we are the receiver, you know – even of something small. When I choose to be a receiver it’s me saying “yes” to being loved and supported. When you choose to be a receiver, it’s you saying “yes” to being loved and supported. How cool is that?! I love that feeling! And think about it, if so many of us love to give – because that feels so awesome for so many of us! – then we are going to need to learn to receive just as gracefully in order for all the energies to balance out and not get all stuck, right?

When someone is trying to be the giver, then realize that they are asking us to be the receiver. I think there are three things we can do when someone “invites” us to receive – whether with a simple compliment, an offer to help, by being a great listener, by holding the door open for us, with a gift of time or money, by being available emotionally…or with a container of soup.

1. We can say no.
2. We can say yes, but feel guilty or embarrassed or awkward or inferior as we receive.
3. We can say yes, remembering that it’s a kind, loving, strong thing to do to be a graceful receiver; and we can say yes, intending to receive with our hearts wide open, feeling the awesome power of gratitude!

Your provocation this week is simply to be a graceful, appreciative receiver whenever the opportunity arises. I bet we’ll all be surprised how often the opportunity arises!

Today, on Inauguration Day, I ask two things of you:

1. Take 2 minutes right now to radiate energies of love, light, healing, and safety across the United States to all the Inauguration ceremonies of today. (Please do it even if you are reading this at a later date; quantum physics says it still works!)

Do it your own way or try this process:

Close your eyes and take a few long, slow breaths… as if you could breathe in and out through your heart or chest area. When you feel your body relax or soften a bit, then imagine a stream of light moving out from your own heart carrying the awesome power of love and light and caring and compassion and healing and well-being. See this stream of light from your heart rolling gently through your own body first… then through your home… through your community… across your state… to all the state capitals… across the whole U.S… and finally imagining it easily spreading across the whole planet.

2. And secondly, hold in your heart those people everywhere who are feeling isolated, frustrated, tired, hopeless, scared, confused, sad, dissatisfied, or mad right now. Those are often the people “behaving badly” (and we have all been “those” people at one time or another, even if in smaller, less hurtful ways). Quietly hold this powerful healing intention for those everywhere who are scared, angry, “behaving badly” or suffering in any way:

May you know peace at the depth of your being.
May you know kindness moving toward you and out from you.
May you be free from pain and suffering.
May you be ever loved and loving.
May you be safe, happy, healthy, and live with ease.

Don’t buy into believing a small action from one person can’t make a difference. It can. We are powerful and loving beyond measure. YOU are powerful and loving beyond measure, and we just shifted things. (Even at a small level we did just shift things! How cool is that?)

You’re allowed to feel better – even when things are the way they are.

Do you notice how sometimes it’s easy to get a really good worry or rumination cycle going? I heard something about worry that resonated with me, so I want to share it with you.

Think of “worry” this way: it’s like the desire or intention to problem-solve (beneficial!) mixed with anxiety (NOT beneficial!). They cancel each other out, which is why ruminating is not effective for producing healthy action. Now, I think we already know that, but sometimes it’s hard to stop ruminating or worrying. This simple and beautiful practice might help, so it’s your provocation for the week.

If you catch yourself ruminating about something (dare I mention the scene at the Capitol last Wednesday?), then replace it with this self-care practice instead. When you first become aware that you are worrying (as always, awareness must be first), look at your phone or watch and actually set your time for 3-5 minutes (you pick). Then, for those minutes, let yourself immerse fully in worry, rumination, planning, fretting, digging around in it in whatever ways you most need or want to. At the end of your allotted time ask yourself these 3 questions, and answer honestly with no self-criticism attached:

1. Do I feel any better?

2. Did I learn anything new about the situation and/or about myself?

3. Am I closer to a solution or to a positive step that feels right for me to take?

If all three of those answers are “no” – and when we’re ruminating they usually are – then use it as a cue to do one of these replacement self-care activities for (at least) the same number of minutes that you let yourself worry/ruminate:

1. Move! Stand up from wherever you are and physically move yourself around: walk to the restroom; YouTube a song you like and dance around to it; do a full body stretch, big yawn, and some shoulder rolls; walk around your house or building one time; anything – just get your body moving for a few minutes. The metaphor is like when a dog gets out of the water: shake it all off!

2. Balanced Breathing: breathe in for 4-5 counts…breathe out for 4-5 counts; keep that rhythm going for your 3-5 minutes. It literally balances your nervous system – how cool it that?

3. Mindfulness Practice: take your 3-5 minutes to watch your breath moving in and out naturally, or scan your awareness through your body (Body Scan) and see what you find (what’s uncomfortable and in what way? what’s comfortable and in what way?)

4. Think of someone who means a lot to your heart (4-leggers count too!): now imagine radiating to them your desire that they feel safe, happy, well, and wonderfully loved!

You’re allowed to feel better – even when things are the way they are. May this practice help you move in that direction!

I just re-learned something really, really important. When I go through my days, as wonderful as they can often be, if I am putting off doing something that is meaningful and important to me, something that I know I need to do—I am a shell of what I could be. I know that sounds a little dramatic, but it’s true. I can tell when I am putting off something that I “need” to do because while I still look and sound nice enough and still get things done, there is more of an edge to me. People that know me can sense that I am shorter and more impatient with people I care about.

I had been putting off writing. Which is strange because I feel awesome when I am writing, even just little bits at a time. Do you ever do that? Do you ever have things that you know you will feel great about doing once you do them, but instead of doing them you let other daily stuff get in the way? I noticed that I had been waiting until I had the time to do it in order to do much writing. But the days kept going by, and I stayed wonderfully busy with other things—and the “time to do it” kept not happening.

Then I started writing again anyway, even without the magic “extra” time. I don’t even know why really. I just did. It’s unbelievable how much more alive and full I feel when I simply do what I know is to be done by me, what I “need” to do—not based on some outside authority, but based on that inner knowing, based on what feels right and clear and good. I feel more focused and “on purpose” inside—and more joyful. I have had other times when it was as simple as calling someone I care about, going through my pile of “stuff,” going dancing, getting my finances more organized or cleaning out a particular drawer. Whatever it is, we each have an inner guidance system that simply feels “off” if we are not doing something we know is to be done by us, something that would serve us well if we did it.

What is something that keeps pushing at you? What is something you know is important but you keep putting off? Your provocation this week is to answer those questions and then take just ten minutes to begin it. Even if you know it will take much longer than that to complete, something almost magical seems to happen when you just start. It is like a big procrastination layer comes off and you have more energy to move forward. Try it this week and see what happens—even if you only accomplish baby steps on it. If you do more, great. If you don’t, great. Ten minutes. That’s all it needs to be.

There is a quote by Thomas Edison that says, “If we did all the things we were capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” I want to astound myself! I want us all to.

Decide today that you are worth taking good care of. Then get started with something you “need” to do based upon a sincere intention to hear and play in your highest possibilities.