What I Need to Do

What I Need to Do

by | Jan 25, 2020 | Avoiding Stress, Health & Wellbeing, Self-Improvement

I just re-learned something really, really important. When I go through my days, as wonderful as they can often be, if I am putting off doing something that is meaningful and important to me, something that I know I need to do—I am a shell of what I could be. I know that sounds a little dramatic, but it’s true. I can tell when I am putting off something that I “need” to do because while I still look and sound nice enough and still get things done, there is more of an edge to me. People that know me can sense that I am shorter and more impatient with people I care about.

I had been putting off writing. Which is strange because I feel awesome when I am writing, even just little bits at a time. Do you ever do that? Do you ever have things that you know you will feel great about doing once you do them, but instead of doing them you let other daily stuff get in the way? I noticed that I had been waiting until I had the time to do it in order to do much writing. But the days kept going by, and I stayed wonderfully busy with other things—and the “time to do it” kept not happening.

Then I started writing again anyway, even without the magic “extra” time. I don’t even know why really. I just did. It’s unbelievable how much more alive and full I feel when I simply do what I know is to be done by me, what I “need” to do—not based on some outside authority, but based on that inner knowing, based on what feels right and clear and good. I feel more focused and “on purpose” inside—and more joyful. I have had other times when it was as simple as calling someone I care about, going through my pile of “stuff,” going dancing, getting my finances more organized or cleaning out a particular drawer. Whatever it is, we each have an inner guidance system that simply feels “off” if we are not doing something we know is to be done by us, something that would serve us well if we did it.

What is something that keeps pushing at you? What is something you know is important but you keep putting off? Your provocation this week is to answer those questions and then take just ten minutes to begin it. Even if you know it will take much longer than that to complete, something almost magical seems to happen when you just start. It is like a big procrastination layer comes off and you have more energy to move forward. Try it this week and see what happens—even if you only accomplish baby steps on it. If you do more, great. If you don’t, great. Ten minutes. That’s all it needs to be.

There is a quote by Thomas Edison that says, “If we did all the things we were capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” I want to astound myself! I want us all to.

 

Decide today that you are worth taking good care of. Then get started with something you “need” to do based upon a sincere intention to hear and play in your highest possibilities.

How Food Feels

How Food Feels

by | May 7, 2019 | Health & Wellbeing, Self-Care, Self-Improvement

There are so many foods we are supposed to stay away from, or at least limit, according to experts in the industry. Depending on which dietitian, nutritionist, physician, book, or PBS special you are currently in alignment with, here are some of the possible things to steer clear from: fats, red meat, all meat, carbs, anything not organic, anything not locally grown, all processed foods, MSG, hydrogenated oils, dairy, salty snacks, sugary snacks, alcohol, corn syrup, any grain that is not a whole grain, white anything (flour, rice, bread, sugar, pasta), preservatives and on and on. But I have an idea.

While there is a good possibility that many of the different eating guidelines have merit, before you pick which foods to embrace and which to throw away, do something really awesome. Instead of basing your decision on logical arguments from all the external authorities, decide first how foods feel—to you. Here’s your provocation. This week intend to be fully present and mindful of you and your food before, during, and after you eat. How does your food look? Does your whole body want it or simply your taste buds? How does it smell? Is your body asking for something different instead? Can you really taste the food or are you rushing through it? Then, and this is the important part—10 to 20 minutes after you have eaten, simply notice how you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally. Are you sluggish or energized? Do you have any aches? Are you mentally clear or foggy? Do you feel “deadened” and numb or frisky and alive? Don’t make it a judgmental, criticism thing, just notice how you are doing. You may uncover something that can be really helpful.

 

Here is what I’ve found. Generally food serves me well, unless I use it for stress-reduction or relief, then not so much. Sometimes I eat sugary food because I consciously choose to have a bit of the yummy taste. Other times I crave it and it feels not so much a conscious choice, but rather like I “need” it. Most often those times are: when I feel sleepy or drained around 3-4pm with an afternoon lull; when I feel nervous, anxious, mad, or even excited about something; when I am tired from not getting enough quality sleep; when I am low on water but don’t realize I am thirsty. When I eat something sweet at those times, it tastes good on my tongue as I eat it. It also feels like it brings me some sort of relief. Then shortly afterward I usually feel more tired, drained, sluggish, and sometimes even mean. No fun really, but it is actually cool to know—because that awareness creates my point of power to be able to choose differently if and when I want to.

 

Our bodies rock! Your body rocks! Notice it this week. You have the opportunity to take lavish, loving care of it. Not because you “should.” Not because you need to “guilt yourself” into it. But quite simply, because you deserve to feel good. Whether or not anyone ever told you that, it’s true. You deserve to feel good. And noticing how foods feel from inside you is an amazing and powerful way to put that knowing into practice.

This Moment

This Moment

by | Mar 27, 2019 | Health & Wellbeing, Positive Thinking, Self-Improvement

What if this very moment were enough? What if it was already good enough to enjoy? What if you took the time, intention and choice to notice it fully and even enjoy it? What might happen in your life if you did that once today—or twice—or twenty or more times, until it became a habit? My habit up until this point has often been different from that. I have become aware that I am almost always focusing on getting somewhere else. So often throughout my day I am trying to finish something, only so that I am able to move on to the next thing, in order to complete it, to move on to something else, to finish it… and on and on.

 

But what if right now, in this mundane moment as you are reading this—with perhaps not quite enough time, and with things not yet complete, and with the world as chaotic as it is, and with home and work and relationships and your body and your finances exactly as they are—what if you felt the chair underneath you, and felt your breathing move in and out through you, and simply decided that this moment is enough, that it is good, that it is worthy of your attention?

 

I imagine that when I am finally lying on my deathbed, perhaps looking over my life, if I am given a chance to come back to this very moment, I might think, “With all of its weirdness, chaos or busyness, with all of its boredom or confusion, with all its drama or lack of, with all of its success or disappointment—that particular moment was very, very good.” Just because it was lived.

 

Your provocation this week is to consciously live as many moments as you can, remembering to notice them, be here with them, breathe with them and decide that they are enough. Because quite simply—they are.

 

Be loving and gentle with you this week and intend to enjoy your many moments, even the funky ones!

Being Your Own Good Parent

Being Your Own Good Parent

by | Feb 12, 2019 | Self-Improvement

My son, Nikolas, recently got his black belt in Taekwondo. It was a pretty big deal and we are all really, really proud of him! And way more importantly – he’s really proud of himself and feels great about it. It took him 5 years. He did the work, and took the effort, and made the choice to do his best and to have a good attitude when he was at the classes… and it showed during the testing. But here’s what I also know: I had a big part in getting him to the classes – sometimes when he really didn’t want to go; and in financing the classes – sometimes when I didn’t really want to watch the money go out.

 

So why did I do it anyway, for 5 years? Why didn’t I just give in to his or my oft felt, “ I’m not in the mood today” sentiment? I knew it was a great thing for him at so many levels: for creating a foundation of making intentional choices through his life; to help him experience how goal setting with consistent small steps can lead to a big success; to remind him that he can do whatever he sets out with his mind and heart (and actions) to do; to increase his own confidence and self-esteem and leadership and sense of empowerment; and on and on. Of course!

 

But I know that about all the cool things I want for me too, right? Yet sometimes…many times, actually… I don’t follow through with my own stuff. (Don’t get me wrong, there are many things I do really well for myself – those just aren’t the focus of today’s Blurb.) Forgive me if this sounds a bit dramatic, but I think the real answer to why I didn’t flake out after a few weeks or months on helping get Nikolas’ butt to his TKD classes is because…well… he matters enough for me to stay motivated, because his worthiness and value are bigger and louder than the “I’m-not-really-in-the-mood-to-take-effort-for-long-term-good” attitude that often popped in (to both of our minds).

 

So…here’s our provocation for the week. Find something that means a lot to you, something that you’ve really wanted to do (or stop doing), something that you have let slide with an “I’m not in the mood today” mindset. Maybe it’s finishing a project, or taking a class, or saving some money, or losing 10 pounds, or buying/selling your house, or getting healthier, or stopping criticism, or making up with a family member, or ending/starting a relationship, etc. Now… be your own (“good”) parent. Decide your worthiness and value are bigger and louder than the, “It’ll take too long (and maybe it’s a little scary) so I’ll start some other time” voice. Think of the first step it would take to get that thing going…ugh, even if it takes 5 years! What would you have to do first? Now, if it was for your child or someone else you really valued – would you push them to do it? Would you metaphorically “make” them go to class today? If you wouldn’t – then maybe it’s time you just let yourself off the hook about it. But if you would – if you’d pull the “Mom/Dad Card” and say, “Yep, I’m asking you to do it anyway even though I can see you’re not in the mood,” then do that with yourself this week.

 

And the same way you know not to completely overwhelm kids…don’t pick 87 things, or even three. Pick one thing and begin some small, but consistent steps toward its fruition – because your worthiness and value are gigantic. Mine too. (I’ll be working on publishing my book. Ahh….)

One Little Choice

One Little Choice

by | Oct 16, 2018 | Positive Thinking, Self-Improvement

I often think about how glad I am to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that change is possible. Not always easy. Rarely easy, as a matter of fact. But always possible. I have been playing around with this consciousness “stuff” for a long time now, over two decades. I am getting clearer and clearer about something. It’s not when the change is coming the easiest that the real transformation happens. Instead, it’s when you want to give up, or cave, or forget it all, or start again tomorrow that the real possibility opens up to step into strength and real power to make changes.

 

I used to do a wonderful healing art form called Chi-Lel Qigong and it’s a good example of what I’m talking about. When I learned the mind-body practice from Master Luke Chan, who brought the form to the U.S. from China, we were instructed to do it for 100 consecutive days—which constituted one “gong” or level of practice. Everybody kept saying things like, “Well, if I miss day 49 then couldn’t I just add a day to the end of the 100 days to make up for it?” And I remember him finally saying something like, “You Americans are so funny. You always jump from one thing to another trying to find a quicker, easier way. Just find something and do it. And then keep doing it.”

 

Some days it felt easy and good to do the 16-minute movement form. However, the real success came on the days when I so didn’t want to do it because I was too tired or too busy—but I did it anyway. I think the same is true for all the times we try to make changes.

 

I’m all about effortless and easy. I love when changes feel fun and easy to do. But I know it’s when I am on the border of, “Maybe today I’ll choose to do what is truly better for me,” or “Maybe not. Maybe I’ll just do it tomorrow instead,” that the real possibility of power and change are present. Whether with food or exercise decisions, actions within my relationships, consistency around disciplining my thoughts, steps toward expanding my career, or choices with financial habits, it always seems easy for awhile to do something new and thus to begin the change. But when the freshness and inspiration start to lessen and it feels like my good is still a long way off—whether that’s the completion of a 100-day Qigong practice, desired weight loss, increased wealth, or the success of a new book—when those things still seem to be a long way off and when I’m not in the mood to stick with the change today, that is when one little choice—to do the highest and best for myself just in this moment—really matters!

 

So that is your provocation for the week. If you have been wanting to make a positive change, if you have tried and failed, if you are currently in the process of making a change and are losing steam, or if you have almost decided to just forget it—each day this week decide on one small choice that you can make that serves you well. Maybe it’s writing just one paragraph of your book, or taking the effort to go to the bank and put only $5 into a savings account, or being kind instead of impatient just one extra time with your spouse or child, or taking even a brief walk, or not eating the extra dessert just today. Feel the power in that moment, in that possibility, in that space that resides between the decision to do it or not do it.

 

And then ask for the courage and strength within to make one little choice that serves you well! You are wonderfully worthy of a life of great good. We all are. Small choice by small choice we can get there.