I want to talk about Coherence and how it’s actually possible to “spread” that wonderful high quality state. Coherence is a scientific term that refers to when the heart, mind, emotions and body are all working in sync. It’s an actual physiological state when the major systems of the body are working together and we experience an inner state of ease, calm and composure; mental and emotional flexibility and balance; the ability to self-regulate and “take charge” of ourselves, maintaining composure (even in the midst of stressful circumstances); and we have a smooth and rhythmic heart pattern that looks like a sine wave or rolling hill. Oh yeah, and it feels really good too.

Order, balance, poise, inner calm and composure… Anyone besides me wanting to experience a little more of that right now?

There is a simple HeartMath technique that we can use to get there (and I’ll share it at the end) – but the really cool thing is some new research that shows how we can actually spread Coherence to others. Participants in a study were organized into 10 groups, with four people in each group. Each group of four was seated around a table, each wearing a heart rhythm monitor to measure heart rate and Coherence levels. Two weeks earlier, three of the four participants in each group had been taught how to shift into a Coherent state. The three people who had been taught how to get Coherent were instructed to shift in and out of Coherence at specific times. The fourth person had no knowledge of what the other three were doing.

Get this! When the three participants shifted into Coherence – the fourth person also became more Coherent even though they didn’t know what was going on! So when we get ourselves into a more balanced and composed state (or peaceful, or loving, or calm, or appreciative, etc.), we literally can help shift other people into that state as well! How awesome! Have you ever been around someone and notice you feel a bit better just from having been in there presence? Let’s all learn to be one of those people – because we can!

Here we go. It’s this easy to get Coherent.

Here is HeartMath’s Quick Coherence Technique:

1. Focus your attention in the area of the heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual.

2. Make a sincere attempt to experience a regenerative feeling such as appreciation or care for someone or something in your life. (Try to re-experience the feeling you have for someone you love, a pet, a fun or positive time in your life, a special place, an accomplishment; or focus on a feeling of calm or ease.)

So your provocation this week is to get Coherent and then intend to “spread” it by purposefully being Coherent around others. I bet we’ll all find conversations this week that could use some inner composure, ease and calm.

What if I were so filled up with my own passion, purpose and genuine power that I didn’t have time or interest in criticizing you or anyone else? What if the love and appreciation that I had flowing through me right now were so big and so constant that I could view everything and everyone with eyes of compassion, possibility and wonder? What if I were so busy finding ways I could uplift that I forgot to rail against groups and organizations behaving badly?

What if I decided to walk my own path so clearly and boldly that I knew everyone else could do it too? What if I practiced trusting that still small voice within so much that I felt the divine presence of well-being even while things seemed so fast and chaotic? And what if you did it too?

I think we can do it. I think it’s actually possible. But somehow we learned to wait. Wait until we are more ready; wait until others tell us we are good enough; wait until people are nicer and the world is more ethical; wait until we graduate, get a different job, get married, get the house, retire, elect the right government officials. Mostly I think we are waiting around for everyone else to do it too. Or just someone. Anyone. To do what? To focus on being the grandest version of themselves that is possible in this very moment.

What do you think it would look like if a few of us started doing that right now? If we started being the grandest version of ourselves that we know to be? Right now with the imperfect, messy work situations, relationships, finances and bodies that we have in this moment? Right now in the stressed out, relief seeking culture we live in? Right now when we don’t have time to do anything more? I want us to choose to do just that, to live the grandest version of ourselves that we can. Because I think amazing things will happen when we do. And we will laugh and love more. And we will start a ripple effect of good that can help heal the planet. And we will surprise ourselves with our own inner goodness and beauty.

If it feels too big and vague to say, “I’m going to start being the grandest version of myself that I can be,” then here is a wonderful way to put it into motion. This is your provocation for the week. Choose a quality or essence that resonates with the grandest version of you that you can imagine. It might be love, strength, laughter, gentleness, discipline, patience, compassion, appreciation, persistence, joyfulness, honor, etc. There are so many so just choose one that seems to be calling to you right now. Intend to embody that quality so fully that you experience it all week—within your thoughts, your feelings, your heart and your actions. Each time you find yourself feeling tired, squished up, frustrated, drained or “out of sorts” imagine this quality flooding through your entire being. Feel the essence of your grandest version as it begins to flow through your daily experiences.

The reason I know it’s possible to begin living as our grandest selves is that I have experienced people practicing it. I have watched some of them, read their work, run into them at the store, listened to their music and been inspired by their words or actions. I have been assisted by them and blessed by them in countless beautiful ways. And I believe with all of my heart that their ranks are growing. So this week be on the lookout for those who are practicing their grandest version; feel for them; hope to see them; expect to find them. And more importantly, let’s choose in this moment to join them, to be them. Ah, the power of returning to our grandest version!

I think we try too much. Too hard, too often, too much. We even try to relax. The word “trying” conjures up a certain picture for me which feels very different from things like ease, strength, simplicity, clarity, power and focus. Do you ever notice that sometimes “trying” can feel like heavy, endless effort…because if you are still trying to do something then you obviously haven’t succeeded?

I want us all to try less. And live more. And breathe more.

I think kids and animals do this really well. Instead of “trying” they are eitherdoingsomething—with commitment, passion, intensity and often humor, or they arenotdoing—such as basking in a sunny afternoon nap, or sleeping peacefully through the night. Either way, they are doing what they are doing­ – fully.

When I say I want us to try less it can sound like I am promoting non-productive, “lazy” or irresponsible behaviors. The opposite is true really. One of my favorite things is knowing with certainty that every one of us, no matter our age or experience, is continually being called to live a life of great purpose, and that when we do we make beautiful, positive changes for our world. For that to happen we have to have our physical, emotional and spiritual “tanks” full. We need to feel a sense of buoyancy and resiliency; we need to have our inner convictions primed and ready for action and non-action.

But when we are always “trying” so hard, with almost everything in our life, it can squish us up until we feel exhausted on every level. When that happens we don’t have access to what we really need for action: passion, strength and intensity; nor do we have access to what allows for true non-action: peace, stillness, clarity. And of course, it is both sides that we need in order to live radiantly, truly as our highest and best. We need the power and strength of fully doing and the relaxation and ease of fully notdoing. “Trying” puts us right in the middle where we don’t have access to either side: the effort needed for meaningful action or the enjoyment of surrender and respite.

This week your provocation is the “Art of Trying Less.” Try less to get the entire To-Do List finished; try less to be all things to all people; try less to do too much with too little time and energy; try less to cover your own greatness in order for others to be more comfortable around you. When you feel yourself using an effort that is draining you instead of empowering you, stop for a moment. Imagine that you can breathe slowly in and out through your heart. Do it until any feeling of “trying,” of tightness, stagnancy, pressure, littleness, or tiredness begins to melt away. Then decide from the truest part of you if it is time for full, committed, decisive effort and action; or if it is time for true, happy basking, release and respite. Choose one side or the other. Choose simply. Choose without guilt. Choose other than “trying.” I think it was Yoda on Stars Wars who said, “Try? There is no try. You either do or you don’t do.”

And as you choose this week keep remembering how beautiful and good you and your life are, no matter your current circumstances.

I know I can be Pollyanna. I like that about me. I like that it feels true to the very core of my being that good is possible, positive change is possible, healing is possible, love is possible. In all situations, at all junctures, good is. I know we don’t always act on it and I know that many people are hurting. I do know that. And at the same time the possibility to experience good at any moment, on many different levels, is always present.

I think it might be true that out of all the things I like to write and talk about, all the things I try to live in my own life and to help others remember, this one may be the most important to me: the fact that Life is good and is always for us. Always. Even when it feels not true or possible. That is the thing that aches the most in my heart to have everyone remember. Because when we remember that, when down deep somewhere we really know that, when we trust that Life is for us and never against us, it’s so much easier to remember our own magnificence. It’s so much more possible to live our greatest version of ourselves. It’s so much more natural to come back to and live from our highest possibility. And isn’t that always the point?

Albert Einstein was brilliant by most anyone’s standards. Someone once told me that Mr. Einstein said the most important question worth asking about was if the Universe was benevolent. Was it good and kind? And his answer was, “Yes, it is.” I will always be in Albert’s camp. With a passion. I want us all to be able to feel the respite, relief and grand possibility that comes from believing—no, from knowing and feeling—at a deep level that Life or the Universal Essence or God is always and forever for us; that we are inherently good, worthy and loved; that we are guided every day all day toward living a beautiful life, toward creating a world that works for everyone.

I think we would behave differently if we really believed at the core of our beings that Life cared about us and wanted our highest and best. We would breathe easier and sleep easier. We would more often hear the quiet guidance that says all sorts of things like, “Let it go,” “Who cares if others don’t approve?” “Stop (or start) working now,” “Forgive yourself,” “It’s time to move on,” “Is it working for you?” “Let them off the hook,” “This job doesn’t serve you anymore,” “You are allowed to be happy,” and on and on.

If we trusted that Life was good and that it was for us we wouldn’t push so hard and keep doing things that weren’t working. And I think we would have a different perspective when things seemed to go wrong. We might simply breathe and shift our perception, or be more nurturing with ourselves, or go in a different direction, or be more compassionate with another, or understand how strong we really are.

Even if it’s a stretch here is your provocation for the week. Practice seeing yourself and your world through eyes and a heart that believe, “Life is good and is always for me.” I have found that it’s a choice more than a static belief really. Whether “good” or “bad” things happen to you (and around the world) this week, attempt to reframe your judgment about it through a lens that sees and feels compassion and love coming ever toward you and ever toward everyone else too. Pretend that you could assume that Life is good, that it is for you, that it wants everyone’s happiest and best, and that it loves and approves of you always. After a few days you may be wonderfully surprised at how easily you can breathe! Life is good and it is for us. It is for you. Always.

When people talk about “stress reduction” what usually comes up first are things like breathing, meditation, yoga, relaxation, or massage. I love those things! They can bring such a wonderful sense of peacefulness and nurturing as they move us away from the fast-paced, incessant “busyness” of continually having too much to do. But there is another really important part of true stress reduction and self-care. That’s the part I want to focus on in this week’s provocation. Do you ever have times when it feels like the real problem isn’t just all the hurrying and rushing, but that it may also be the squishing, deadening, or sleepiness you feel from having lived for days, weeks, months or longer without feeling truly awake, inspired, frisky or alive?

Without these…without the powerful childlike qualities of feeling excited about life, being playful and imaginative, feeling drawn to accomplish great things, and being passionate about new adventures, stress reduction processes will only be a shadow of what they could be.

In light of that awareness here are some important questions to inspire your friskiness! They are in no particular order and each question can stand on its own:

What (or who) makes you really laugh? (A few weeks ago I was out in the California Redwoods with two of my wonderful friends and a few times we were laughing so hard that I literally almost peed!)

What have you ever done, or do now, that makes you have a sense of awe or feel really inspired – you know, where it could almost take your breath away because of the “bigness” (metaphorically or really) or beauty or importance of the thing?

No matter your age right now, what’s one beautiful thing you could accomplish before you leave the planet? (Yep, that’s my way of saying “before you die or pass on.”)

What can you spend hours of effort doing that feels more like play than work?

What sorts of conversations and topics make you feel alive and engaged?

If limited time, money, health or energy were not issues, what could you do that makes you feel playful, creative, passionate, curious and fully awake?

Quite simply and clearly – who or what makes your heart sing?

Your provocation for the week is simple, and wonderful! Go through the list of questions above and give a sincere attempt to answer each of them. You can just think through your answers, or say them aloud, or write them down. As you do this notice how you feel, both as you read each question and as your answers start to emerge. Bask in the deliciousness of starting to remember what makes you feel really alive. Then, take one step, no matter how small or large, toward an action which is in alignment with an answer to one of those questions.

Your fullness and happiness matter!