So, here is an odd question for you…
What important part of you do you have tied up somewhere? I was at lunch with a friend the other day. As we were talking, I remembered a weird dream I had. There was someone on a horse dragging a baby kangaroo behind it; the kangaroo’s feet were tied up with a lasso thing – which is what the person on the horse was using to pull it with. Sounds really mean now, but I wasn’t hugely disturbed as I was recounting it because the feeling in the dream wasn’t about hurting the kangaroo. It was just about making it not be able to do its “kangaroo-y” thing. Aren’t dreams weird (and cool)?

The dream didn’t make much sense to me, nor did it feel very impactful. But I clearly thought it was weird enough to want to tell her. When I finished my brief description my friend said, “Don’t just blow it off. What does a baby kangaroo represent to you?” “Uh…I don’t know…?”

Silence from her with a look that said, “That’s okay, I’ll wait.” So, I thought it over enough and responded, “Well, I guess to me a baby kangaroo represents things like being childlike, playful… not worried about the way things are supposed be. Romping and basking in each moment.” She then asked me if there are any areas in my life where I am needing more of those qualities? Wow, cool. Yes, there are.

As she asked me that question, I could feel this rush of realization that I hadn’t been letting in much playfulness lately; instead, I had been letting my mind run the show. You know the bright, sometimes beautiful mind that can spew an incessant barrage of things like, “Do it this way; no, this way; what about that; plan this; try this; you need to do more of this; stop doing that; organize this; think about that; worry about this; remember to look at this; are you sure about that? etc.” Can you relate?

The truth is, I love our bright, strong minds. But it’s really important to balance our mental aspects with other qualities as well. I was missing my playful side. How about you? What qualities have you been keeping at bay?
Here’s your provocation for the week. Simply ask yourself what is an aspect or quality that you have been keeping metaphorically “tied up,” one that might be helpful with something you are working on. The patient part of you? A gentle or vulnerable part? A playful quality? A powerful aspect of you? How about a trusting one? A loving or forgiving side? A part of you with strong, confident qualities? How about an aspect of you that is decisive and sure? Or soft and kind?

Whatever part you find, have a gentle willingness to express more of that quality this week. It’s okay even if you don’t really know how to use or express that quality. Willingness and intention are powerful beyond what our minds can grasp. This week begin opening to an aspect that has been metaphorically “tied up” or forgotten. Have fun and just see if anything begins to shift for you.

Take good care of you – you deserve a life of great good!

“Love heals all things.”

Spiritual texts and sages have been giving us that message for a long time. But what if it wasn’t just the stuff of religious writings and poets, of ancient philosophers, famous quotes, and songs? What if the wisdom and potential of love – today, in this moment – was much more present and much more powerful than we have yet let ourselves understand?

Julia Dennis, an exceptionally talented healer friend of mine, has a favorite quote by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a French philosopher and Jesuit priest. The quote says, “Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness [for God] the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.” Isn’t that awesome? Sometimes I get this exciting chill that goes right through me when I think for a moment about that actually being true. That really… with our day-to-day things like our bodies and money and relationships and jobs and personal challenges right here and right now…what if, perhaps, love could heal it all?

What if you had the capability to access love and then do beautiful things with it? What if I did too? And people everywhere as well. I think we do have that capability.

So, that’s your provocation for the week. Act like it’s true that love can heal all things and that you can access love’s healing power. So first, decide what you will work on healing. My gentle suggestion is to work on something meaningful enough to matter (i.e. not the paper-cut you got yesterday) but not so big (i.e. world peace or deep resentment that’s been around for decades) that your belief says, “Not possible.” You can work on those later!

The next step is to surround the situation with love. There are many ways to access love. If you already have a process that works to help you feel the emotion of love, compassion, caring or appreciation – go for it (prayer, meditation, and practicing gratitude are all quite beautiful and effective)!

Or feel free to try this simple but beautiful process: Give yourself 5-10 minutes somewhere quiet where you won’t be bothered, and where you feel comfortable closing your eyes. Breathe gently, with a few long, slow inhales…and long, slow exhales. Next, bring to mind the situation, experience, body part, or person that you want to heal, and silently say something like, “It is my intention to bring love to this, with the desire to heal it for the highest and best for all concerned.” Then finally, give a sincere attempt to access a positive emotion like love or appreciation or compassion or peace or ease or kindness or caring. When you get to that heart feeling, imagine radiating it to the person (whether to yourself or another) or situation you are working on healing. Continue for 5-10 minutes.
We are each more powerful for affecting good than we think we are. What if all of us did this practice all over the world – intentionally accessed love to heal – even just for one day? Wow…. Treat yourself, today, like you have the healing power of love within you… because you do!

“Love heals all things.”

Spiritual texts and sages have been giving us that message for a long time. But what if it wasn’t just the stuff of religious writings and poets, of ancient philosophers, famous quotes, and songs? What if the wisdom and potential of love – today, in this moment – was much more present and much more powerful than we have yet let ourselves understand?

Julia Dennis, an exceptionally talented healer friend of mine, has a favorite quote by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, a French philosopher and Jesuit priest. The quote says, “Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness [for God] the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.” Isn’t that awesome? Sometimes I get this exciting chill that goes right through me when I think for a moment about that actually being true. That really… with our day-to-day things like our bodies and money and relationships and jobs and personal challenges right here and right now…what if, perhaps, love could heal it all?
What if you had the capability to access love and then do beautiful things with it? What if I did too? And people everywhere as well. I think we do have that capability.

So, that’s your provocation for the week. Act like it’s true that love can heal all things and that you can access love’s healing power. So first, decide what you will work on healing. My gentle suggestion is to work on something meaningful enough to matter (i.e. not the paper-cut you got yesterday) but not so big (i.e. world peace or deep resentment that’s been around for decades) that your belief says, “Not possible.” You can work on those later!

The next step is to surround the situation with love. There are many ways to access love. If you already have a process that works to help you feel the emotion of love, compassion, caring or appreciation – go for it (prayer, meditation, and practicing gratitude are all quite beautiful and effective)!

Or feel free to try this simple but beautiful process: Give yourself 5-10 minutes somewhere quiet where you won’t be bothered, and where you feel comfortable closing your eyes. Breathe gently, with a few long, slow inhales…and long, slow exhales. Next, bring to mind the situation, experience, body part, or person that you want to heal, and silently say something like, “It is my intention to bring love to this, with the desire to heal it for the highest and best for all concerned.” Then finally, give a sincere attempt to access a positive emotion like love or appreciation or compassion or peace or ease or kindness or caring. When you get to that heart feeling, imagine radiating it to the person (whether to yourself or another) or situation you are working on healing. Continue for 5-10 minutes.
We are each more powerful for affecting good than we think we are. What if all of us did this practice all over the world – intentionally accessed love to heal – even just for one day? Wow…. Treat yourself, today, like you have the healing power of love within you… because you do!

I keep learning this thing… and then forgetting it… and then remembering it again.

I wonder if you can relate. Doesn’t it seem like in order to get action accomplished that we’d need to be motivated first? And because of that, isn’t it easy to just wait around to do anything until you feel motivated to do it…? Yeah, I know, not very effective in the long run is it? Even though sometimes we do that, I think somewhere within us we know it’s totally backwards – or at least not helpful.

I’ve been helping people with shifting perspectives and making behavior changes for a long time, and I continue learning and using the same things that help my audiences and clients – including this topic. A few years ago I heard this idea spelled out really clearly when I was auditing a weight loss program called Naturally Slim. I was supposed to help decide if we were going to bring it to the group I was working with (which we did – great program).

As I was watching one of the videos, I heard the Founder (Marcia Upson) say something in a way that felt like a great “Aha!” for me. It was about the connection between being motivated and taking actions. She said that when it comes to making positive changes, she often hears people say they just aren’t motivated anymore; they say they only stay motivated for a short time. Sounds familiar, right? But instead of her trying to coerce people back into being motivated – instead of her giving ways to magically hatch more motivation – she was way more pragmatic. She suggested that when we lose our motivation – which happens to everyone, by the way – that we try taking some positive action anyway… and that the process of taking an action can start up the motivation again – brilliant (annoying… in a perfectly effective and empowering way – but brilliant)!

Think about something you’ve wanted to change, start, or complete – weight loss, healing a part of your body, forgiving someone from your past, making more money, interacting more positively with your favorite people, finishing a project, etc.

For me right now it’s growing my business. Do you remember a time – usually when you first began – when you felt really motivated to make the change(s)? How exciting! I love that – when things feel fresh and frisky, and I’m excited and know I can do it!

But then… a few weeks go by (or sometimes only days), and it’s like my motivation dries up. It must because I stop taking positive actions. And when one day of non-action turns into a string of days not taking any positive steps, then it feels overwhelming to begin again… especially if it’s an important project or big goal.

Here’s what I often do at those times – and I think it’s what a lot of us do: we wait for the motivation to come back before we start up our action steps again. Motivation first then action, right? Not so much. The truth is, not only is that completely backwards, it’s also soul squishing. Yes, I mean that this clearly: waiting until motivation comes back upon us can be soul squishing… because the longer we don’t do anything (with our projects or goals or changes) the more unmotivated we feel. Bluck…

This week, let’s turn it back around as Marcia suggested – and as we already know in our hearts is the real way to reach positive outcomes.

On that note, here is your provocation for the week.

Call to mind something you’ve been wanting to make progress with. What change or project or life goal has been calling you? This week, the plan isn’t to light up the whole planet with huge, important, gigantic progress! But neither is it to wait until you are graced with motivation “coming back upon you.” Instead, take one simple action – even a tiny one – toward the change you are wanting. Just one action. Then choose to be happy that you did it.

Choose to be proud of the action you took. Let’s all do that. Then let’s do it again tomorrow – one small conscious action. Then perhaps – after our actions – motivation may light upon us once again. Let’s all do that for just one week and see what happens to our sense of aliveness and motivation! You deserve to be wildly, wonderfully happy!

It’s funny. Or maybe not funny, really.

I’ve been “doing” people most of my life (educator, speaker, consultant, coach, etc.). Because of that, I am well aware that when we’re hurting – we show up in different ways. When we have been hurting, sometimes we look sad; or withdrawn; or disappointed; or scared. But sometimes when we’re hurting… we look mad. And we act mad. And we aren’t very nice.

Now obviously, someone who is feeling sad comes across very differently from someone who is feeling mad. But again… because of my years of life work, I am truly aware that no matter how it is being presented it stems from hurting in some way.

And the reason I said, “It’s funny” is because although I know that fact – it’s still WAY easier for me to be compassionate with someone who is “presenting” with sadness or fear or disappointment than with someone who is “presenting” with anger or aggression. It’s like the meanness, madness, or littleness they are expressing can evoke the same in me… in us.

And there’s something sadly backwards about all of that because… for many people when they are hurting anger, aggression, and hostility are way easier to feel than sadness or fear. Here’s why. Have you ever noticed how much more vulnerable you have to be to let yourself feel sad or scared? You have to be open and soft enough to feel it – that’s scary!

On the other hand, have you ever noticed how much less vulnerable you have to be if you stick with feeling angry? You can stay closed up and hardened. Not so scary. But because both sides stem from us hurting… the truth is we all need quiet compassion in those moments. And the compassion can lead to beautiful shifts.

As an example, Chris and I got in an argument the other day. He thought I was mad at him about something… which I wasn’t. But him thinking that I was evoked defensiveness in him – which looked a lot like madness and felt like meanness – which evoked madness in me (which I’m sure felt like meanness to him). It took a good thirty minutes of misunderstanding each other before things shifted.

I started practicing Compassionate Breathing which I recently learned from a beautiful Mindful Self-Compassion training (I highly recommend it – Dr. Kristen Neff & Dr. Chris Germer). Compassion to myself as I inhale… compassion to Chris on the exhale… and again to me on the inhale… him on the exhale. And I could feel myself softening. And could feel my demeanor change. And then I watched him soften. And his demeanor shifted. And all of a sudden it was us again. Softer, more open, more understanding… compassionate with each other the way we usually are.

On that note, here is your provocation for the week.

Whenever you come across what looks like frustration, anger, meanness, hostility, or aggression – in you or in someone else – understand that it stems from us/them hurting in some way. And decide – even if just as an experiment – to shift to compassion and see what happens within you. It’s a beautiful thing!

I think we “try” too much. Too hard, too often, too much. We even try to relax.

I want us all to try less. And live more. And breathe more. I think young ones and animals do this really well. Instead of “trying,” they’re either doing something fully—with commitment, passion, intensity, and often humor, or they’re not doing—such as basking in a sunny afternoon nap, or sleeping peacefully through the night. Either way, they are doing what they are doing—fully.

When I say I want us to try less it can sound like I’m promoting laziness or irresponsible behaviors. I’m not. One of my favorite things is knowing that every one of us is being called to live a life of great purpose, and that when we do we make beautiful, positive changes for our world. For that to happen we have to have our physical, emotional, and spiritual “tanks” full. We need to have our inner convictions primed and ready for action and non-action.

But when we’re always “trying” so hard, it squishes us up until we feel exhausted on every level. When that happens we don’t have access to what we really need for action: passion, strength, and intensity; nor do we have access to what allows for true non-action: peace, stillness, clarity. And of course, it’s both sides that we need in order to live radiantly as our highest and best. We need the power and strength of fully doing and the relaxation and ease of fully not doing.

“Trying” puts us right in the middle where we don’t have access to either side: the effort needed for meaningful action or the enjoyment of surrender and respite. So this week your provocation is the blessed “Art of Trying Less.”

Try less to get the entire To-Do List finished; try less to be all things to all people; try less to do too much with too little time and energy; try less to cover your own greatness in order for others to be more comfortable around you.

When you feel yourself using an effort that is draining you instead of empowering you, stop for a moment. Imagine that you can breathe slowly in and out through your heart. Do it until any feeling of “trying,” of tightness, pressure, littleness, or tiredness begins to melt away. Then decide from the truest part of you if it is time for full, committed, decisive effort and action; or if it is time for true, happy basking, release, and respite.

Choose one side or the other. Choose simply. Choose without guilt. Choose other than “trying.” I think it was Yoda who said, “Try? There is no try. You either do or you don’t do.” And as you choose consciously, keep remembering how beautiful and good you and your life are, no matter your current circumstances.

This week’s Blurb was excerpted from my book, 52 Weeks of Relief: Uplifting Provocations for Stress Reduction & Self-Care. If you enjoy your email Blurbs please check out my book! I will be honored if you order a copy for yourself and/or a loved one who might benefit from it. You can find it at Amazon or simply click here.