Life is Good and is Always For Us

Life is Good and is Always For Us

by | Apr 9, 2019 | Avoiding Stress, Health & Wellbeing, Positive Thinking

I know I can be Pollyanna. I like that about me. I like that it feels true to the very core of my being that good is possible, positive change is possible, healing is possible, love is possible. In all situations, at all junctures, good is. I know we don’t always act on it and I know that many people are hurting. I do know that. And at the same time the possibility to experience good at any moment, on many different levels, is always present.

 

I think it might be true that out of all the things I like to write and talk about, all the things I try to live in my own life and to help others remember, this one may be the most important to me: the fact that Life is good and is always for us. Always. Even when it feels not true or possible. That is the thing that aches the most in my heart to have everyone remember. Because when we remember that, when down deep somewhere we really know that, when we trust that Life is for us and never against us, it’s so much easier to remember our own magnificence. It’s so much more possible to live our greatest version of ourselves. It’s so much more natural to come back to and live from our highest possibility. And isn’t that always the point?

 

Albert Einstein was brilliant by most anyone’s standards. Someone once told me that Mr. Einstein said the most important question worth asking about was if the Universe was benevolent. Was it good and kind? And his answer was, “Yes, it is.” I will always be in Albert’s camp. With a passion. I want us all to be able to feel the respite, relief and grand possibility that comes from believing—no, from knowing and feeling—at a deep level that Life or the Universal Essence or God is always and forever for us; that we are inherently good, worthy and loved; that we are guided every day all day toward living a beautiful life, toward creating a world that works for everyone.

 

I think we would behave differently if we really believed at the core of our beings that Life cared about us and wanted our highest and best. We would breathe easier and sleep easier. We would more often hear the quiet guidance that says all sorts of things like, “Let it go,” “Who cares if others don’t approve?” “Stop (or start) working now,” “Forgive yourself,” “It’s time to move on,” “Is it working for you?” “Let them off the hook,” “This job doesn’t serve you anymore,” “You are allowed to be happy,” and on and on.

 

If we trusted that Life was good and that it was for us we wouldn’t push so hard and keep doing things that weren’t working. And I think we would have a different perspective when things seemed to go wrong. We might simply breathe and shift our perception, or be more nurturing with ourselves, or go in a different direction, or be more compassionate with another, or understand how strong we really are.

 

Even if it’s a stretch here is your provocation for the week. Practice seeing yourself and your world through eyes and a heart that believe, “Life is good and is always for me.” I have found that it’s a choice more than a static belief really. Whether “good” or “bad” things happen to you (and around the world) this week, attempt to reframe your judgment about it through a lens that sees and feels compassion and love coming ever toward you and ever toward everyone else too. Pretend that you could assume that Life is good, that it is for you, that it wants everyone’s happiest and best, and that it loves and approves of you always. After a few days you may be wonderfully surprised at how easily you can breathe! Life is good and it is for us. It is for you. Always.

This Moment

This Moment

by | Mar 27, 2019 | Health & Wellbeing, Positive Thinking, Self-Improvement

What if this very moment were enough? What if it was already good enough to enjoy? What if you took the time, intention and choice to notice it fully and even enjoy it? What might happen in your life if you did that once today—or twice—or twenty or more times, until it became a habit? My habit up until this point has often been different from that. I have become aware that I am almost always focusing on getting somewhere else. So often throughout my day I am trying to finish something, only so that I am able to move on to the next thing, in order to complete it, to move on to something else, to finish it… and on and on.

 

But what if right now, in this mundane moment as you are reading this—with perhaps not quite enough time, and with things not yet complete, and with the world as chaotic as it is, and with home and work and relationships and your body and your finances exactly as they are—what if you felt the chair underneath you, and felt your breathing move in and out through you, and simply decided that this moment is enough, that it is good, that it is worthy of your attention?

 

I imagine that when I am finally lying on my deathbed, perhaps looking over my life, if I am given a chance to come back to this very moment, I might think, “With all of its weirdness, chaos or busyness, with all of its boredom or confusion, with all its drama or lack of, with all of its success or disappointment—that particular moment was very, very good.” Just because it was lived.

 

Your provocation this week is to consciously live as many moments as you can, remembering to notice them, be here with them, breathe with them and decide that they are enough. Because quite simply—they are.

 

Be loving and gentle with you this week and intend to enjoy your many moments, even the funky ones!

Feeling Frisky

Feeling Frisky

by | Mar 12, 2019 | Avoiding Stress, Health & Wellbeing, Positive Thinking

When people talk about “stress reduction” what usually comes up first are things like breathing, meditation, yoga, relaxation, or massage. I love those things! They can bring such a wonderful sense of peacefulness and nurturing as they move us away from the fast-paced, incessant “busyness” of continually having too much to do. But there is another really important part of true stress reduction and self-care. That’s the part I want to focus on in this week’s provocation. Do you ever have times when it feels like the real problem isn’t just all the hurrying and rushing, but that it may also be the squishing, deadening, or sleepiness you feel from having lived for days, weeks, months or longer without feeling truly awake, inspired, frisky or alive?

 

Without these…without the powerful childlike qualities of feeling excited about life, being playful and imaginative, feeling drawn to accomplish great things, and being passionate about new adventures, stress reduction processes will only be a shadow of what they could be.

 

In light of that awareness here are some important questions to inspire your friskiness! They are in no particular order and each question can stand on its own:

What (or who) makes you really laugh? (A few weeks ago I was out in the California Redwoods with two of my wonderful friends and a few times we were laughing so hard that I literally almost peed!)

 

What have you ever done, or do now, that makes you have a sense of awe or feel really inspired – you know, where it could almost take your breath away because of the “bigness” (metaphorically or really) or beauty or importance of the thing?

 

No matter your age right now, what’s one beautiful thing you could accomplish before you leave the planet? (Yep, that’s my way of saying “before you die or pass on.”)

 

What can you spend hours of effort doing that feels more like play than work?

 

What sorts of conversations and topics make you feel alive and engaged?

 

If limited time, money, health or energy were not issues, what could you do that makes you feel playful, creative, passionate, curious and fully awake?

 

Quite simply and clearly – who or what makes your heart sing?

 

Your provocation for the week is simple, and wonderful! Go through the list of questions above and give a sincere attempt to answer each of them. You can just think through your answers, or say them aloud, or write them down. As you do this notice how you feel, both as you read each question and as your answers start to emerge. Bask in the deliciousness of starting to remember what makes you feel really alive. Then, take one step, no matter how small or large, toward an action which is in alignment with an answer to one of those questions.

 

Your fullness and happiness matter!

Being Your Own Good Parent

Being Your Own Good Parent

by | Feb 12, 2019 | Self-Improvement

My son, Nikolas, recently got his black belt in Taekwondo. It was a pretty big deal and we are all really, really proud of him! And way more importantly – he’s really proud of himself and feels great about it. It took him 5 years. He did the work, and took the effort, and made the choice to do his best and to have a good attitude when he was at the classes… and it showed during the testing. But here’s what I also know: I had a big part in getting him to the classes – sometimes when he really didn’t want to go; and in financing the classes – sometimes when I didn’t really want to watch the money go out.

 

So why did I do it anyway, for 5 years? Why didn’t I just give in to his or my oft felt, “ I’m not in the mood today” sentiment? I knew it was a great thing for him at so many levels: for creating a foundation of making intentional choices through his life; to help him experience how goal setting with consistent small steps can lead to a big success; to remind him that he can do whatever he sets out with his mind and heart (and actions) to do; to increase his own confidence and self-esteem and leadership and sense of empowerment; and on and on. Of course!

 

But I know that about all the cool things I want for me too, right? Yet sometimes…many times, actually… I don’t follow through with my own stuff. (Don’t get me wrong, there are many things I do really well for myself – those just aren’t the focus of today’s Blurb.) Forgive me if this sounds a bit dramatic, but I think the real answer to why I didn’t flake out after a few weeks or months on helping get Nikolas’ butt to his TKD classes is because…well… he matters enough for me to stay motivated, because his worthiness and value are bigger and louder than the “I’m-not-really-in-the-mood-to-take-effort-for-long-term-good” attitude that often popped in (to both of our minds).

 

So…here’s our provocation for the week. Find something that means a lot to you, something that you’ve really wanted to do (or stop doing), something that you have let slide with an “I’m not in the mood today” mindset. Maybe it’s finishing a project, or taking a class, or saving some money, or losing 10 pounds, or buying/selling your house, or getting healthier, or stopping criticism, or making up with a family member, or ending/starting a relationship, etc. Now… be your own (“good”) parent. Decide your worthiness and value are bigger and louder than the, “It’ll take too long (and maybe it’s a little scary) so I’ll start some other time” voice. Think of the first step it would take to get that thing going…ugh, even if it takes 5 years! What would you have to do first? Now, if it was for your child or someone else you really valued – would you push them to do it? Would you metaphorically “make” them go to class today? If you wouldn’t – then maybe it’s time you just let yourself off the hook about it. But if you would – if you’d pull the “Mom/Dad Card” and say, “Yep, I’m asking you to do it anyway even though I can see you’re not in the mood,” then do that with yourself this week.

 

And the same way you know not to completely overwhelm kids…don’t pick 87 things, or even three. Pick one thing and begin some small, but consistent steps toward its fruition – because your worthiness and value are gigantic. Mine too. (I’ll be working on publishing my book. Ahh….)

What’s Your Story?

What’s Your Story?

by | Jan 15, 2019 | Avoiding Stress, Health & Wellbeing, Positive Thinking

When you talk about the big areas of your life, what do you say? In terms of your health, money, relationships, personal/spiritual growth, time, work and play what are the stories you tell about them? They don’t feel like “stories.” We experience them as facts. So asked another way, what are the facts you know to be true in regard to those big life areas?

 

Some of my storylines or facts feel good, life affirming and uplifting. In other areas my stories, that is to say my description of “how things are,” are more limiting and don’t feel so good.

 

That wouldn’t be all that interesting except for this. Notice that what you say about those areas and what you experience in those areas match really closely. The stories I think, believe and tell about my life match beautifully with how I experience my life—whether the stories are positive or negative. Whether my stories say, “Relationships are hard” or “My relationships rock,” “My body heals quickly” or “High blood pressure runs in my family,” “There’s not enough money to go around” or “Money has always been pretty easy to come by,” I always end up “right.” Meaning, how I describe things is generally the way they continue to show up. The normal argument or logic says, “Well of course that’s my story. Things happened in my life to then make me believe that’s the way things are.” But I think that’s backwards. I think we pick up thoughts, beliefs and habits of action (i.e. our “stories”) from lots of places including our parents, teachers and coaches, church, the news, friends, even You Tube, and then keep those ideas and expectations in motion creating more of what we are used to seeing. It’s an unconscious cycle that most of us don’t even know we are participating in.

 

I’m not saying that our experiences aren’t factual or real. Clearly they are. I just think that they are way more pliable than we realize. And one of the most powerful ways to change our experience is to change the story first. Easier said than done, but wildly important nonetheless. Here is your provocation for the week. Look honestly at the big areas: health, wealth, relationships, work/self-expression, time, personal/spiritual growth. Then go through your personal stories about each of them. Notice how clearly what you believe (i.e. your “story”) and what you experience match. Now take one specific thing that you would like to experience more positively (for example your relationship with your child, spouse, or parent, your work-life balance, how you pay your bills, what you eat, how you sleep, etc.) and begin to create a new story. The easiest way I have found to create a new, more beneficial story is to first stop telling the life-crunching one. No more complaining about it…to anyone.

 

Next, begin to tweak your facts, truths and beliefs with a sincere attempt to see it the way you want it. Was there even one time that s/he didn’t disappoint you? Is there even a small part of you that feels healthy or good today? Did you have the money any time this week to buy food and gas even if the prices are high? When you find even a tiny part of the story that matches the way you want it to be—hang on to it! Keep looking at it and keep telling that part of the story, to yourself and even to others. Pretend it’s true that the stories you tell will out-picture (or begin to show up) in your real experiences. Choose to tell a new life-affirming story. Be aware of how you feel as you do, and then see what begins to manifest in your experiences. We are powerful beings—in a really, really good way!